We all go through different seasons but I would like to focus on one: Patience.
Patience isn’t something that naturally comes to me, ever since I was a kid ,I have always been impatient. So you can imagine how I feel when God makes me wait.
It became easier when I gave my life to Him but it didn’t just magically disappear.
For the past four months , God has put me through a season of waiting, well not only me, about a 1000 other students.
When I left for the holiday about 4 months ago, we received news that our medical license was taken away. At first I didn’t worry about this, since we were given 2 months of vacation, I was sure it would be fixed by the time we were suppose to go back. Boy was I wrong.
The end of July arrived when school was expected to start but it didn’t. I left for school anyway, because I had faith it would start in August. August passed by and nothing. Now I started being worried, starting panicking and here comes the anxiety attacks.
I started applying to other schools and this was every day. So when I finally found one that accepted me, I was overjoyed. Then boom my parents shut it down. At this point, I didn’t know what to do, couldn’t sleep properly and worry wouldn’t leave me.
I prayed and prayed for this every single day. I kept asking God why this was happening to me and to make it worse most of my friends kept leaving. I felt so behind.
I finally decided to go back home, leave everything behind,and start over. It actually hurt that a God who claimed to love me, would let such a thing happen. I cried but finally accepted it, so at this point I was fed up with school and never wanted to go back.
This is mid- September, I’m suppose to leave in 2 days. But I had to go finalize some things at school for the very last time. So this guy at the office tells me “school is opening next week” but I didn’t believe him. This wasn’t the first time they told us that. So I decided to tell my mom and suddenly she tells me “ no just wait for another week.” This broke my heart.
I felt so betrayed. I didn’t know what people wanted from me. Again I accepted it and moved on. I was so disappointed in God, since nothing was going my way. I didn’t even feel like talking to Him.
Then the next day arrives, I receive news that the license was back, with proof. That actually made me feel worse, what? You expected happy ? grateful?. After waiting for so long, my heart wasn’t with the school anymore.
Then I received a text, telling us the results are ready. “ Could this week get any worse?” I thought. I started crying, crying for a school that finally opened and results I didn’t receive yet. At this point I started reaching out to God , I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t have much fight left in me.
When I finally got my results, I was in complete utter shock. I passed beyond my expectations and I cried again. I couldn’t believe it , I was in awe of Gods grace.
And this made me think about the past 4 months. How did worry help me? How did the crying benefit to my situation? No way at all.
We sometimes lose sight of the Lord and focus on the situation at hand. We forget how big our God is, the same God who hasn’t failed you before, what makes this time different?
I want to advice every one going through a similar season, to handle it differently. Focus on Matthew 6:34, “Don’t worry about tomorrow, it will take care of itself, you have enough to worry about today.” Or 1 Peter 5:7 “God cares for you, so turn all your worries over to him.”
We have a Father who wants nothing but the best for us , yes we go through the hard times but it isn’t to punish us. His helping us grow. I’m actually glad I went through this, I might not know the reason yet and I might never know but Im sure about one thing : God did this for my own good.
As long as you feel that heartbeat inside of you, know that God isn’t done with you🌸.